


Pull Me to Shore

by shaeheda



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 16:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shaeheda/pseuds/shaeheda
Summary: She feels like she's drifting away from the shore into the open sea. Can he pull her back?Clarke loses Wells and Bellamy is there for her.





	Pull Me to Shore

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... I don't really know what this fic is or why I couldn't get anything done until I wrote it but, here it is. It's kind of sad I guess but I hope you like it or connect with it somehow. 
> 
> You can always find me on tumblr @shaemysterious

She was feeling numb.  _ Oxymoron.  _ How could she feel numb when numb was to be deprived of feeling.

With each passing memory in her mind, she felt her body get lighter. Light enough to float away into nothing. That’s what she had now that he was gone, nothing.

Her head felt heavy, and it was the only thing from keeping her from floating away completely, plagued with the thoughts of everything they’ll never get to do together.

She heard the faint sound of the door to her childhood bedroom open and shut, her head still too heavy to lift and catch a glimpse of who it was that entered. She knew who it wasn’t, who it never would be again.

The weight of the bed shifted but she couldn’t open her eyes or maybe she didn’t want to, a physical attempt to shut out the world around her. a world without her best friend.

“This wasn’t your fault you know.”

Her eyes squeezed shut just a little bit tighter. She couldn’t bear to hear this, not now. Probably not ever.

“This wasn’t your fault Clarke.”

Suddenly her skin is buzzing, the stillness she felt moments ago now long forgotten as her eyes shoot open and she jolts upright out of the bed. She walks over to the window and if it wasn’t for her tears she might be able to make out the faces of everyone gathered out in the backyard, but instead, all she can see is a sea of black.

She isn’t sure if that’s her sorrow and guilt or if it’s just the color everyone is wearing.

She could hear the springs of the bed squeak as he got up. His energy felt calm yet intrusive. Her mind went back and forth, trying to decide if she wanted to ask him to leave or allow him to stay.

“What do you need Clarke? Do you need forgiveness? Fine, I’ll give that to you, You’re forgiven.”

She shook her head. This wasn’t right, none of this was right. Her voice cracked as she spoke for the first time in... well if she was being honest with herself she lost count on the days she had gone without speaking after day 4. After day 4 everything just got too exhausting and she couldn’t be bothered, with any of it.

“You don’t get to do that.” She thought she had run out of tears. She thought wrong.

Everything around her was losing its color, the world was slowly beginning to turn black and white.

As she turned around she could feel everything, it was strange. Moments ago she felt nothing, almost weightless and now, now she felt the weight of the world in her bones and it was beginning to pull her under. She could try to swim to the surface but really what was the point?

Finally, she looked at him and wished so badly that the deep unknown would just swallow her whole. If anyone could pull her out it would be him, but she didn’t deserve that.

“The only person who can forgive me isn’t here anymore, and that’s because of me. He’s dead because of me.”

He was clear, she could make out all of his beautiful features perfectly, only for a moment and then she felt herself slipping under once more as her tears began to cloud her vision. Her breath hitched and suddenly he was in front of her.

His proximity to her was dangerously close. Didn’t he know by now that anyone who stood too close to her eventually died? Then again he always was the rebellious type, always doing whatever the hell he wanted.

Before she had a chance to distance herself from him, try to spare the pain she would inevitably cause him, he placed both of his hands on either side of her face. His eyes searching hers.

“I want you to listen to me.”

Of course, he never had to ask. She was always listening to him, intentionally or not, she was always able to pick his voice out of a crowd from across the room.

“You didn’t buy that gun, you didn’t give the gun to that criminal, and you didn’t shoot Wells, okay? This wasn’t your fault and I will tell you a million times if that’s what it takes for you to believe it.”

After the shooting, she couldn’t think to be anywhere else but in this room, where so many memories were made. She had spent every day replaying her fondest memories of him and then suddenly she would see his once bright eyes so lifeless, staring back at her.

She remembered all the nights they spent sitting on her window bench looking at the stars and talking about all the ways they would change the world together. All the time they sat on her floor cramming for a test. Laying on her bed in comfortable silence after her dad died, with his arms wrapped around her not daring to let go.

She made an attempt to wrap her arms around herself, to feel as safe as she did when he held her all those years ago, but it just wasn’t the same.

More tears slipped down her cheeks before she felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her shoulders. Her arms snaked around his waist, clasping her hands together behind his back.

As her sobs get more intense he moved one of his hands from her shoulder and placed it behind her head. There is an ache in his chest like nothing he’s ever felt before.

Moments pass before she can catch her breath and calm down. She begins to untangle herself from him already missing his warmth. She was no longer sinking, the presence of his arms around her was pulling her towards a distant shore.

She took one last deep breath to steady herself “Bellamy will you go downstairs with me? I don’t think I can handle all those people by myself.”

“Of course, whatever you need princess.” The familiar nickname pulling a small smile from both of them.

When they first met that nickname used to annoy her to no end, fueling his fire. Somewhere along the way she relented and it became a term of endearment rather than annoyance.

Throughout the night she could feel moments of sorrow start to pull her under. As her breaths would get more shallow she would subconsciously reach out and he would be there, pulling her closer to a shore that became less distant with each touch.

By the time everyone had gone home she felt empty. Giving a piece of herself away anytime someone brought up a superficially fond memory of Wells and she had to fight the urge to tell them that they didn’t  _ really _ know him. They would look at her waiting to see if she would break as if she were a house of cards that would crumble if the slightest breeze were to come crashing in. She wanted to scream until her lungs ran out of air, but no one would listen and she doubted any words would even come out.

Bellamy took his place beside her and took a hold of her hand.  _ Could he feel her emptiness in the palm of his hand?  _ His touch made her want to keep going. The moment his hand touched hers she felt the urge to keep sailing to shore, even though she was surrounded by the evening skies of her sorrow.

She tried to sneak a glance at him, but when she looked over he was already watching her. It wasn’t in the way she thought he might. He didn’t look at her like she would crumble into 100 tiny little pieces. She saw a glimpse of something else in his eyes, strength.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” her voice barely above a whisper

Offering her a tender smile “Of course princess, I’ll stay as long as you need.”

As they entered the room he shut the door and looked over to her as she kicked off the heels she was wearing. She moved towards the bed and began to pull back the covers and mess with the pillows.

“Aren’t you going to change?”

Tossing the decorative pillow to the floor she looked over at him “I don’t have the energy.” she said sounding completely defeated

He turned around and began to rummage through her dresser until he found a pair of pants and a t-shirt. He walked over and set the clothes on the bed. “I’ll help you.” his hand finds her shoulder once again giving it a reassuring squeeze.

After she turned her back to him he began to pull at her zipper gently. Once the zipper reached its end he moved his hands to the sleeves of her dress sliding them down her arms. She pulled her hands through the sleeves and slipped the dress off her hips letting it fall to the ground before turning back to face him.

This is the most exposed she has ever been in front of him, both physically and emotionally.

He reaches for the sweatpants on the bed and bends down to her feet holding them for her to step into. She placed both her hands on his shoulders to steady herself never once breaking eye contact with him as she steps into the sweats one leg at a time. He slowly begins to slide the pants up her legs pausing at her waist before letting go.

Grabbing the shirt from the bed he places it above her head and pulls it down pausing so she can slip her arms through the sleeves. As he continues to pull the shirt down his hands trace her sides. He nods his head towards the bed, a signal she should lay down. He walks over to the other side of the bad laying down on his back with an arm outstretched towards her, open and inviting. She slides under the covers and curls into his side, placing her head on his chest. It isn’t long before his steady heartbeat lulls her to sleep.

When she wakes it takes her a moment to realize that yesterday was both a nightmare and a dream. Except that it wasn’t a dream, because Bellamy is still there. When she looks up at him she expects him to still be asleep, but instead, he is looking down at her as if he was watching her sleep.

“I’m willing to bet that you didn’t eat yesterday, so we should probably head downstairs and get some breakfast.”

His low voice echoed in her ear like a beautiful song, offering her the comfort she desperately needed

She pulled away from his warmth and comfort and headed downstairs with him not far behind.

It was strange how easily they moved around each other in the kitchen. Grabbing bowls and spoons and cereal boxes and milk and never once colliding. It was almost like they had done this a million times. Maybe in another life, they had, but not this one. Maybe it was because they were always so hyper-aware of the presence of each other that it made it easy to maneuver around one another.

They sat down at the kitchen island and poured their cereal and milk and ate in comfortable silence.

when they were finished he grabbed both bowls and walked over to place them gently in the sink. He turned around to face her “So what’s the plan for today?”

“Well I was going to head back home, I’ve got a shift at the gallery on Monday.”

“I could come with you if you want the company. Octavia texted to let me know she had to leave early for work but would be back later to pick me up. I could just tell her I’m catching a ride with you.”

She looked at him and smiled with relief. Abandoning the daunting thought of having to be alone with her thoughts for the whole drive home.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Let me just grab my things and find my mom to say goodbye. I’ll meet you in the car.” She hopped off the barstool she was sitting on and walked to the stairs as he made his way to the front door.

Ten minutes passed before his head snapped up at the sound of the front door closing. He watched her walk down the porch stairs and walk around the car, placing her things in the back seat before she opened the driver's side door and climbed in.

His thoughts were interrupted by the constant changing of the radio stations about an hour into their drive

“Please just pick a station.” he looked over at her with a teasing smile

Her hand returned to the steering wheel as Everlong by the Foo Fighters blasted through her stereo.

From the corner of her eye, she could see his fingers tapping along to the beat and before she knew it she was startled by his voice singing along with the lyrics.

When he noticed that she was looking at him it only encouraged him to get more into the song, dramatically singing along and playing air guitar. It made her laugh and she had such a beautiful laugh. He had missed hearing it and seeing her smile the past week. It was at that moment that he vowed to do whatever it took to always see that smile.

All too soon she was pulling up to his house and putting the car in park. He unbuckled his seatbelt and went to reach for the handle.

“Bellamy wait.”

He spared a glance in her direction before he removed his hand from the door handle.

“Thank you.” She didn’t have to specify what she was thanking him for because of course, he knew “It meant a lot to me having you there by my side. I don’t think I could have done it without you.”

He shifted slightly in the seat to look at her “I’ll always be here for you Clarke, no matter what.” He wanted to tell her that of course, she could have done it without him because she was the strongest person he knew. Instead, he just smiled.

She cleared her throat to get rid of her nerves “Would you want to come over on Sunday? Maybe watch a movie and order some food?”

It almost sounded like she was asking him on a date, but of course, she probably wasn’t ready for that. After everything that happened over the last week, he didn’t think she would be ready to date, at least not for a while. He would wait because she was worth it “Yeah sure that sounds great! I can come over around 6.”

She smiled. He really did love that smile, more so he really loved being the reason for her smile

“Perfect it’s a date!”

His eyes widened in surprise as she placed a kiss on his cheek “It’s a date.” He said trying to regain his composure as he once again reached for the door handle.

When he made it to the door and unlocked it he looked back at her car and gave her a quick wave signaling she could leave, because of course Clarke Griffin was the type of person to drop you off and wait to leave until the front door was unlocked and you were safely inside.

He made his way to the couch and plopped down in exhaustion. No matter how tired he was he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. He had a date with Clarke Griffin.

Just up the street she was collecting her bag from the backseat and making her way up the stairs to her apartment. As soon as she unlocked the door and walked inside she dropped her bag by the door.

With the help of Bellamy Blake, she was able to make it safely back to shore.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it, the thing that was distracting me for the last 2 days. If I'm being completely honest I don't think I'm all that happy with how it came out but, here we are.


End file.
